Things to Whine About
The shape of ice cream.
Who let the frog out.
What brother said.
That a brother won’t build a tie-fighter.
The absence of snakes.
The R2D2 brother’s building instead of a tie-fighter.
The lack of Evan.
The inability to invade privacy.
Video games and the pain of limits.
Hunger. (Any fifteen minute foodless interval could constitute hunger. After thirty minutes, one enters the realm of starvation. Death, most certainly follows quickly.)
The effort required to change a CD.
Hunger after bedtime. (see above.)
The frog/fish/butterfly/snake/dragonfly net.
The slowness of moms.
The unbearable pressure of a brother forcing a boy to play an alien.
A brother that’s won’t become an alien.
A brother that is being really annoying.
A mom that won’t stop a really annoying brother.
The disappearance of mints.
The screech of a brother.
The slap of a brother in response to the screech of a brother.
The yell of a mom in response to the slap of a brother in response to the screech of a brother.
Friends that are occupied.
A brother reading and not building a tie-fighter.
A mom suggesting a boy build his own tie-fighter.
A mom that won’t make big brother stop reading and build a tie-fighter NOW.
Little brother letting big brother’s frog loose.
Mom not punishing big brother because he won’t stop reading to build a spaceship.
Mom not punishing big brother.
Big brother not building.
Mom won’t tell him to make one.
He’s going to say No.
I know he’s going to say No.
He’s going to say No!
But then for a moment, after Mom bribe’s big brother to build, the sun is again bright in the sky. And yet there could never be enough wine in the house for a mom.